life life life

oh how you like to play with my head and emotions
you know being a girl isnt all its cracked up to be
we are the lucky ones who get monthly visitors
and have to push kids out of our uterus'
eeeeeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
and we take way to long to get ready
and we bitch and complain about everything
hahah

and then we find that one person who doesnt mind
that one person who will listen to our complaining
and wants his sperm to mix with our egg
and create life!!!!
hahah


ok so maybe i am being a little harsh but in this post break up era where
i am actually being myself again you can't blame me
when a guy wants to act like d-bag and get all stupid i have a right to be
well blunt things go down the way they do for a reason
and in the end being "that" girl isnt so bad


so san antonio
what do you have in store for me this weekend
:)

according to the agenda "
-movies
-party
-church


wow sounds like a solid weekend




lets actually get to the good stuff where i am not all scatter brained
like yesterday! it was just an uneasy day
after talking to P (out new lovely roommate)about her break up and giving my advice i was like in this little zone of uneasyness and it was absolutely horrible
and it wasnt boy bashing time it was more like getting through it kinda things
but i was forced to relive the past where i became "that" girl. we have all seen her the one who loves the boy who breaks her hear then she falls apart! ugh yes that was me. i kno i kno hard to believe but i was. && there i was trying to figure out how i let myself get to that horrible point. that point where i really didnt have any friend at least not ones that i talked to or actually even knew me, the point where i'd cry like a crazy girl all the time, i couldnt sleep, or eat how can a break up really make you so much of a mess!!!!!!

and now that its a year later, though hard, i think it may have been the best thing that could have ever happened to me. i was forced to stop hiding and to stop running. i had to deal with everything in the world that i never ever EVER wanted to and you know what im so much happier and better now
its crazy how things like that go down and its like you are losing yourself but you just end up finding yourself the real you and i am happy to say i know who i am i am happy that i am defined by who i am and not by who i was with. i have my friends my life. and my lord.

so now here we go with the facts as i see it planning never works out, i always play the music a little to loud, speak before i think, shout more that i should, dance whenever i feel like it, sing even where there is no music, my best friend is visiting spain, god is guiding me on my way, marijuana should be legalized, cigarettes are gross, pixy styx are the best candy on earth, my sister is the one person that will never ever leave me she is my other half i love her, my roommates are beyond amazing you should be jealous, my friends are the most amazing people i have ever me, praying makes me happy, retreats are a way to share god's love, baseball/softball are by far my favorite , tumbling is way more fun than running, i wanna write a book, care's steer is special, ive decided no more negativity



i have a way with words and i like that i can speak them freely i dont know if anyone reads this but its okay :)

for now we'll keep it like it is


so life i am ready for you. i am ready to take you on and be freeeeeeee :)
give me trials test my patience, make me think twice because i am never giving up success is my destiny. i am doing great things in this life. i have a voice and i wanna share it with the world. so yay for elaine!



hahha
so i guess this all for today lets all be happy like the moon!



peace love && shining stars
Elaine